The Scream

The Scream

A hollow blast inside my head,
A released wind from broken thread.
The swirling void within my soul,
Fraught with cracks no longer whole.

Humming, thrumming,
Whining, pining,
Singing, ringing,
Sounding, pounding,
Crying, Sighing,
Inside dying…

Calm and silence on the outer shell,
Inside is like a loud, storming hell.
Saved by sleeping away the pain,
Until the dreaming drives me insane.

Dreaming, dreaming,
Dreaming, dreaming,
DREAMING, DREAMING,
SCREAMING…

Waking, gasping,
Silence.
Pain without sound.

© T. L. Gabbert

Reading

Reading

Sometimes I feel so alone.

Isolated in a world full of people,
Sure that no one will ever,
Be able to understand me.

I can sometimes lose all hope.

Floating in an ocean of sameness,
Drifting through blinding apathy,
No shore in sight.

Then I pick up a book.

This Author’s mind is like my own,
This story is my fresh air,
I can breathe in the connection.

All is not lost.

For if these writers can know me,
If they are me,
Then I am them.

I am not alone.

Somewhere out there,
Is another mind,
That could understand mine.

I am just waiting.

My story is still unfolding,
There is so much left to tell,
My heart is anticipating,

For my love to write the next line.

© T. L. Gabbert

 

 

Payload

 

Payload

 

Oh God, I’m carrying a heavy load,

Sometimes it feels like I’ll implode,

Filled inside with so much pain,

Never feels like I’m quite sane.

 

“Let it go.” It’s what I’ve been told,

So I open my soul and I break the mold,

But the knots of pain, they stay there,

Can’t cut them away, can’t throw ‘em anywhere.

 

I can run, I can hide, I can sleep all day,

But from the pain, I can’t get away,

So I live my life and I let the pain lay,

While it strips my soul day after day.

 

Oh God, I’m carrying a heavy load,

Sometimes it feels like I won’t implode,

I walk around, but I’m not what I seem,

‘Cause inside my head I scream and scream.

 

I wish I could get away, wish I could fly,

Higher and higher up through the sky,

I’d go way, way up, then let myself fall,

And I’d hit this earth like a fireball.

 

Oh God, I’m carrying a heavy load,

But I’d feel better if you’d explode,

If God would burn you off the face of this earth,

Not one sane person would feel the dearth.

 

© T. L. Gabbert

 

 

 

 

Who Are You?

Who Are You?

You think I want things around me,
I’ll admit I’ve worked hard,
I’ve saved and I’ve scraped,
to live comfortably.

That’s materialistic to you,
Because you know nothing of work,
So you see I have nice things,
And then you judge me, a selfish jerk.

You don’t really know me,
The surface is all you can see,
What you’re actually judging is you,
And how you would feel and be.

It’s you, who wants the money,
You want all the things it can buy,
But you don’t want to work,
You don’t ever even try.

You’d rather steal the life,
Someone else worked hard to build,
You don’t care who you hurt,
So long as your wallet is filled.

So you lie and you cheat,
You manipulate and seduce,
You don’t care about or understand,
The heartache you produce.

You even lie to yourself,
You think that you’re so great,
But you’re just empty and shallow,
And filled with envy and hate.

Your attitude is tiring,
To everyone in your life,
You think you’re just being strong,
Because you say your life’s been tough.

There’s no excuse for the way you are,
Everyone has had it rough.
And who could ever really please you,
When will anything ever be enough?

Don’t judge me by your standards,
Mine are so much higher,
I could never be like you,
A thief and a liar.

© T. L. Gabbert

 

 

Games

 

I’m so tired of playing games…

I run from you,

You give chase,

But when I turn around,

You slam the door in my face.

 

I’m sorry it took me so long to forgive,

But the things you did made it hard to live…

With or without you,

It was difficult to decide,

I took the cowards way,

And chose to hide.

 

My soul was pulled back to you,

But you pulled away,

Yet you say you still love me,

But won’t give me time of day.

I’m broken, I’m done,

This game is no fun.

 

The cliffs edge is nearing,

Not much further to run…

I hope as I leap, that I’ll be able to fly,

But you were my wings, so this must be goodbye.

 

© T. L. Gabbert